No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
