Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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