4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
