Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
