that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
