I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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