No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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