the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
