the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
