i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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