I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
