...so i touched it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
