tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dick very happy bro
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
