thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize