on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
