so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
