HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
