May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
