why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
