I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Pants are for mortals
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
