Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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