you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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