'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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