Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
