matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
