this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
