Screwed.edu
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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