i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize