She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
