Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
