This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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