My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
