So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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