Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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