I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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