I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
