I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she peed on how many people?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
