we're blogging at a bar
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
