South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How does it feel to date your dad?
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