we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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