I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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