It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
