WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
