Im at strip club and am horny
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
