is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
