I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
