yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
