he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
