She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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