today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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