Its about making memories worth repressing
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
