what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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